Hmmm. this "fantasy" magazine only shows “batted balls…”

Bud Light’s Football Fantasy

While we here at the BL offices agree that the NFL is a great American institution, we also feel that is could take a few lessons from the fine product that is Bud Light.

Album sales soared when they ditched the long tails and ears for hats

Born on Dating…

Problem: Views from the cheap seats obscure the cheerleaders.

Solution: Label these hotties with useful information so the average 315 pound fan can focus on babes labeled "chubby chaser" and "easy opening cans."

Nate Newton LOVED playing on “grass”

All Natural Ingredients

Problem:  QB’s who play on artificial turf have the life expectancy of Jayson Williams's Limo driver.

Solution: Mandate all stadiums switch to natural grass or just play home games somewhere safer-- like an Afghan mine field.

there’s a word the man that owns this cart…WOMAN!

Designated Driver

Problem: Five hours of tailgating can turn the simplest stadium parking lot into the American Gladiator obstacle course.

Solution:  Shuttle fans using a fleet of golf carts stocked with Bud Light and driven by a Hooters girl ensuring the safety of “dual airbags.”